What thoughts, images and emotions came to mind when you read the word pleasure? Did you think of sex? Did you think of others pleasuring you? Or did you think of you pleasing others? How did the word make you feel?
There so many negative viewpoints on pleasure, there is a lot of shame … but those feelings can be transformed into feelings of joy and empowerment.
Today I’m going to talk to you about the Art of Self Pleasure… how to pleasure your sweet self!! Now this may be a very foreign topic to some, it may send some of you running for the hills…but PLEASE STAY!! Pleasure is what connects you to your desires, to live a life that is based on your dreams.
Just last weekend I was away with my family and we were celebrating my mom’s Birthday. My sister and I gave her a 2-hour spa appointment for her Birthday. Now, my mom is not one to do things like this for herself; she actually was mad that we even booked the appointment for her, “What will I do for 2 hours? I don’t have the time!” Listening to my mom and receiving what she was saying with love made me realize that her reaction is very common. Women and Men alike are not familiar with how to take the time for pleasure. Me on the other hand, I designed my life and my business to allow me to indulge in the sweet pleasures of life.
Pleasure, like any art, requires practice. For some people, practicing pleasure may bring up resistance. People often associate pleasure with guilt and thoughts like “Am I being selfish?” arise. The path to pleasure is blocked by focusing on the negative feelings. Guilt stops people from integrating pleasure into their life.
But there is an easy-breezy way to start to shift your mindset and start to release resistance. The process starts with a simple affirmation that you repeat to yourself every morning and every evening:
Commit to repeating these simple words daily and you’ve taken the first step down the road to increased pleasure in your life.
Taking the next step is easy: let your senses be indulged. After you’ve repeated your morning affirmations, close your eyes and be still. Listen to the sounds in your environment. Do you hear children laughing outside your window as they walk to school? Can you hear the sound of the wind? Or the rain? Listen to the sounds of the world around you.
Breathe deeply and see if you can notice any smells. Do you smell the faint scent of your husband’s cologne? Or the smell of fresh brewed coffee from the other room? Perhaps you have a window open and you can smell grass, or trees, or flowers.
Practice experiencing the world not only with your eyes but with all of your senses. Awaken your body to the feel of the sun on your skin, or the taste of your favorite fruit. Feel. Taste. Smell. Listen. Touch. When you commit to indulging your senses regularly, you will become an expert at it.
We expand our capacity to experience pleasure by taking pleasure breaks often during the day. Start by doing small things that bring you pleasure. Schedule a manicure or pedicure (or both). Book a massage or trade a massage with a friend. Light some candles, pour a glass of wine and soak in a nice bubble bath. This step is important because you start to learn what gives you pleasure and you start to learn how to accept pleasure.
That’s why self-care is at the root of pleasure. We were never taught to really take care of ourselves, we were taught to take care of everyone else. When you start to tap into the things that bring you pleasure and start making choices from the space of pleasure you start to integrate pleasure into your life.
There’s another easy breezy component to pleasure that’s often overlooked: desire. By strengthening your relationship with desire, you may discover you have an even greater capacity for experiencing pleasure than you did before.
I consider pleasure and desires essential ingredients of life because culturally, we judge those who pursue pleasure. We are taught to be afraid of our desires. We are not supposed to want too much, to want the expensive car, the amazing shoes, the cup of coffee from the boutique coffee shop, or the chocolate from the chocolate shop.
Do you remember being a kid lost in a moment of pleasure and then suddenly chastised for indulging in your pleasures instead of doing your homework or your chores? How many times were you pulled away from a moment of joy and made to do what was expected of you? Eventually, you learned to shy away from your desires.
When we are in touch with our desires, we begin to vibrate with pleasure. As we radiate pleasure, we start to shine. It is this glow which allows us to illuminate our lives and all of the lives around us.
Savoring Your Desires
Start your day by writing at least 3 desires:
- I want to feel: ____________________
- I want to create: __________________
- I want: __________________
If you’re stuck, here is a little prompt to help spark your imagination:
Think about your next meal:
What do you want to have?
What do you desire?
Where do you want to have it?
I want you to include things that will allow you to indulge your senses. What do you want your table to look like? Do you want to use candles? Will you place flowers on the table? Will you use a table cloth or place mats? Will you be seated at a table or spread out on a picnic blanket in your living room?
Make your meal fit for a Queen or a King. Have fun. Let your imagination be your guide. This is your experience to create. You don’t need permission or rules, you know what’s right for you. It’s so easy to live an uninspired life. It takes work to live a life of pleasure but it starts with one tiny experience. I challenge you to make your next meal a feast for your senses.
Say YES To Pleasure
We all have the ability to shape our world and create from our thoughts our reality. While it requires practice, pleasure is an art worth developing. How much pleasure do you allow into your life? By saying YES to pleasure and actively working to increase your sensory awareness of pleasure, your capacity to enjoy pleasure expands. By saying YES to pleasure you attract towards you the experiences you desire. You begin to vibrate with pleasure. Others will feel it and begin to experience pleasure as well.
The world is starving for pleasure. Through your willingness to practice pleasure and shine a light on your own desires, other will be inspired. Get your glow on! It’s your time to shine!